


Akashi Seijuurou vs. The World

by deplore



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 17:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1235665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deplore/pseuds/deplore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi takes on several obstacles to gain Nijimura's affections. Chapters not strictly related.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>1. Akashi Seijuurou vs. Nijimura's fanclub. (Set during the early Teikou days.) Akashi plans to crush Nijimura’s so-called fanclub and Midorima would like to stay out of any such machinations. Unfortunately, Akashi isn’t giving him much choice in the matter.</p>
  <p>2. Akashi Seijuurou vs. Nijimura's younger siblings. Nijimura Shuuzou has two younger brothers. One of them dislikes Akashi and the other is in love with Akashi, and he is honestly not sure which one is worse.</p>
  <p>3. Aomine and Kise vs. Akashi and Nijimura. 3 times Akashi and Nijimura prevented Aomine and Kise from getting any with their unresolved sexual tension (and 1 time Aomine decided, wow, screw that).</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love is a Battleground

“I’d like to state first that even without outside interference, Nijimura-san’s so-called fanclub would fall apart eventually,” Akashi says. “Such is the nature of it to begin with. There would be infighting sooner or later. However, I believe at this juncture that they are proving to be enough of a nuisance to the basketball team that they should be dealt with.”

Midorima knows Akashi well enough to read between the lines when they are so blatantly presented. “What did they do to cross you?” he asks.

“If you must know, Midorima, their apparent leader recently asserted that she aims to take Nijimura-san’s first kiss,” Akashi informs him, tone frosty. “I will not stand for that. It has too much potential for coercion, or worse, assault.”

Even Midorima has enough social grace in him to not point out that Akashi may be overinflating the problem, since Nijimura is perfectly capable of fending off his admirers for himself and has had no problems doing so for the last year. Or rather, he does not miss the steely glint in Akashi’s eyes and thousands of years of primitive instincts inform him that it clearly means ‘compare me to them and you will be next on the destroy list’. So he uses up about four months’ worth of his usual intrapersonal tact and makes the wilful decision not to reply.

“I think I can do it in a week and a half. No – just one should suffice,” Akashi says.

“I will be spending that time practicing three-pointers and will therefore be far too occupied to assist you,” Midorima tells him, though he gets the distinct impression that Akashi is not listening to him.

 

 

 

Two days later, there is a crowd of girls in front of Midorima’s desk before roll call and Midorima feels highly alarmed. “Is it true?” one of them asks.

Cancers are ranked last for the day, but Midorima had thought that he’d found a sufficiently large enough fruit basket to ward off his bad luck. Grimly, he makes plans to buy as many apples from the cafeteria as he can during lunch, as he had obviously thought wrong. “Is what true,” Midorima replies flatly.

One of the girls shoves another. “I told you so, it’s not true! Midorima-kun would definitely have denied it more if it were!”

“No, I think Midorima-kun didn’t react much because he was already warned not to say anything. So it must be for real!” the second girl insists.

“Maybe he was sworn to secrecy,” a third chips in. “I think it’s true, too.”

They begin arguing so vehemently that when Midorima tries to ask what they are even talking about, none of them pay him the least bit of attention.

 

 

 

By the next day, Midorima has gathered enough facts to have a decent grasp of what is going on:

  1.        There is some rumor regarding Nijimura going around the school.
  2.        It is not entirely clear what the rumor entails.
  3.        This has caused much debate amongst Nijimura’s admirers.
  4.        Akashi almost definitely has something to do with it.
  5.        More specifically: it is probably Akashi who insinuated that Midorima would be a valid inside informer, counting on Midorima’s most likely response to further fan the flames.
  6.        This is extremely vexatious and Midorima reaffirms his vow to someday see that one of Akashi’s plans does not result in his unconditional success.



After practice that afternoon, Midorima approaches Akashi and says, “I _told_ you I would be too busy to assist with any of the sort of nonsense you have instigated.”

“Well, I couldn’t very well send them to Aomine, now could I?” Akashi replies, before reaching into his bag and handing Midorima a dream catcher: Midorima’s lucky item for tomorrow.

Grudgingly, Midorima accepts it (along with his unfortunate involvement in this whole debacle).

 

 

 

Akashi’s estimation is right on the dot. A week from his initial declaration of war, Nijimura’s fanclub folded into two factions before effectively self-destructing. Amazingly, this is all done without any apparently negative effect upon Nijimura’s reputation.

“What kind of rumor did you make up?” Midorima asks during a shogi game, cursing himself for giving in to his curiosity.

“The kind of gossip that spreads most quickly and is most subject to being dramatized in the process from going from person to person is a simple statement,” Akashi explains. “Taking into consideration the interests of the general teenage female population, I simply planted the idea that Nijimura-san is interested in both – ”

“Stop,” Midorima cuts in. “I do not wish to hear the rest after all.”

Akashi makes his move. “Checkmate,” he says.

Midorima consoles himself with the fact that at least he is aware of how manipulative Akashi is when tried, whereas Nijimura probably has no idea what’s coming for him.


	2. Heartlines & Bloodlines

Nijimura Shuuto, age 10, takes one look at Akashi and immediately says, “You look like you’re kind of a gigantic prick.”

Akashi bristles slightly. “Shuuto,” Shuuzou says in his ‘fucking try me, you brat, I dare you’ tone.

“What?” Shuuto replies, pouting slightly as he turns his attention back to his DS. “He totally does.”

Admittedly, Akashi does have an air of pretentious old money lingering on him constantly. That he’s dressed in an outfit that looks like it came straight out of a J. Crew catalog probably doesn’t help. Akashi clears his throat, offers his right hand, and says, “My name is Akashi Seijuurou. It’s nice to meet you, Shuuto-kun.”

Shuuto stares at Akashi’s hand like it is completely alien gesture to him. Shuuzou can tell that in Shuuto’s head, the first impression has been permanently locked in. “Anyway, Akashi and I are gonna be upstairs, don’t break any rules, come get me if you need anything,” Shuuzou says before gently shepherding Akashi towards his room.

Akashi, naturally, seems rather peeved. “I am not,” he murmurs, “a giant prick.”

“He’s ten, all ten year olds are like that,” Shuuzou asserts, although he kind of gets the idea that Akashi was probably just as much the stereotypical cultured young master now as he was when he was born. “Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“If you’re sure,” Akashi replies after a pause, then immediately asks, “Would it help if I wore something more casual next time?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Shuuzou answers, mostly because it’s a pain to pull off all the layers Akashi likes to wear whenever their ‘study sessions’ get heavy.

Akashi considers this for a moment, then nods. “Let’s get to work, then,” he says, and Shuuzou assumes that’s the last of that.

 

 

 

The next time Akashi comes over, he wears a light gray V-neck shirt and black jeans. It doesn’t look bad on him so much as it just looks bizarre, which Shuuto shamelessly points out: “you look weird when you’re trying to not look like a prick,” he informs Akashi. Akashi’s pupils seem to dilate a little. Shuuzou immediately separates the two of them, and makes a note to lecture his younger brother on having a sense of self-preservation.

“For what it’s worth, I think you look fine,” Shuuzou offers.

“It’s alright,” Akashi says, brushing away the hand Shuuzou places on his shoulder. “I’ve faced more formidable before. I _will_ come to gain his approval.”

Shuuzou gives him a sideways glance, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t kill or torture my brother,” he replies.

Akashi doesn’t respond. Shuuzou tries not to dwell upon it.

 

 

 

For a few months, Shuuto and Akashi seem to reach an impasse. Then, two days before Shuuto’s eleventh birthday, Akashi comes by and drops off a present. “Happy early birthday,” Akashi says placidly when he passes over the gift-wrapped package.

Inside is a 3DS. Shuuzou stares between his brother and Akashi until Shuuto finally looks up and says, “Okay, I guess you’re not so bad.”

“I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that you just bought off my little brother or that he let himself be bought off,” Shuuzou tells Akashi once they’re alone in his room.

“The latter,” Akashi replies. “I was prepared to go much further for the sake of attaining your family’s approval.”

It is the weirdest heartwarming thing Shuuzou thinks Akashi has ever said, so he decides to let it slide.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Shuuzou’s youngest brother is six, named Shuuya, and falls in love for the very first time when he meets Akashi. “Your eyes are really nice,” Shuuya says, and blushes madly before running off to his room.

“He’s quite charming,” Akashi tells Shuuzou, sounding faintly amused.

“For the record, I also like your eyes,” Shuuzou replies, a bit snappily.

“Really?” Akashi asks, and smiles as he leans in. “What else do you like about me?”

Later, Shuuzou will consider playing along to be a major slip-up, but it seemed like such a good idea at the time.

 

 

 

Shuuya spends a lot of time finding excuses to barge into Shuuzou’s room whenever Akashi is over. Amazingly, Akashi is far less irritated by this than Shuuzou is. In fact, he seems perfectly fine with letting Shuuya sit in his lap and distract the two of them from studying (as well as ‘ _studying_ ’).

“I don’t mind it,” Akashi says when Shuuzou asks if the attention bothers him. “Atsushi is also physically affectionate at times, so I suppose I got used to it. It’s endearing.”

Shuuzou pictures Murasakibara sitting on Akashi. The image is not endearing at all, it’s terrifying. “Just let me know if it gets out of hand,” Shuuzou grumbles.

“I can handle it,” Akashi replies.

Shuuzou decides it would be very stupid on many different levels to get jealous of his six-year-old kid brother over his boyfriend, of all people, so he lets it drop.

 

 

 

Shuuya’s youthful infatuation with Akashi culminates on Valentine’s Day, when he reveals that he has saved up a whole week’s allowance to buy Akashi a small box of chocolates. This is mildly humiliating for Shuuzou, because he hadn’t gotten Akashi anything. Even though Valentine’s Day is difficult to navigate between same-sex couples and they’d mutually agreed to not exchange gifts, Shuuzou feels shown up.

“Thank you, Shuuya-kun,” Akashi says, while Shuuzou silently plans how long it would take for him to bike to the nearest place that sells flowers and back. “But I can’t accept these, I’m afraid.”

Shuuya’s face falls. “Why not?” he asks.

“You see, I promise somebody I wouldn’t accept any Valentines this year. I don’t want to go back on my word,” Akashi explains. “But if you wanted to eat them together as friends, I think that would be acceptable. Right, Shuuzou-san?”

“Right,” Shuuzou says, after taking a moment to calm himself.

So the three of them eat chocolates together. When they’re gone, Shuuya excuses himself to his room with unusual gravitas for a kindergartener.

“How nice. Shuuya-kun will be popular when he grows up, I think,” Akashi comments.

“Thanks for letting him down easy,” Shuuzou replies.

Akashi smiles, and grudgingly, Shuuzou ends up smiling too.


	3. 3 times Akashi and Nijimura prevented Aomine and Kise from getting any with their unresolved sexual tension (and 1 time Aomine decided, wow, screw that)

1.

After the first day of the training camp is done, Aomine suggests to Kise that they use the sauna together. “Right before it closes for the night,” Aomine says. “Y’know, when nobody else is around.”

Kise catches his drift immediately and agrees readily. Half an hour before eleven, the two of them head for the sauna, very excited in a very pubescent way.

However, their attempt to get steamy in the steam is thwarted when they find Nijimura and Akashi already there. Both have towels wrapped around their lower halves and are sitting an arm’s length apart, neither of them looking directly at the other. Aomine can practically _smell_ the unresolved sexual tension between them. Calling it extremely awkward is a vast understatement.

“Aomine, Kise,” Akashi says. “You are here rather late.”

“Yeah, well. So are you two,” Aomine returns.

Nijimura stands up. “I was going, actually,” he says. Nobody in the sauna seems to believe him – and judging from his tone, Nijimura believes his own lie the least of all.

“I think I’ll excuse myself too,” Akashi says, leaving a few minutes behind Nijimura.

This leaves Aomine and Kise blissfully alone, but when Aomine leans in towards Kise, Kise just shakes his head. “That totally just killed the mood,” Kise explains, a bit woefully.

“Yeah, it kinda did,” Aomine admits, so the two of them leave and go to sleep.

 

 

 

2.

In a practice match, Akashi makes a rare oversight and commits a pushing foul against Nijimura. They immediately separate from each other once it’s called, both of them looking unusually pink. “I apologize, Nijimura-san,” Akashi says.

NIjimura skims his gaze past Akashi’s and raises a hand as if to ruffle Akashi’s hair, but he draws it back at the last minute. “It’s okay, it happens,” he replies instead.

From the other side of the court, Aomine hears Kise tell Akashi: “Don’t worry about it, Akashicchi! I’ll show you how to _really_ foul somebody.”

“Do not purposely commit a foul against anybody,” Akashi says, but Kise’s already trotted off to get on his mark.

The next time Aomine has the ball, Kise collides right into him, pressing his chest to Aomine’s as his thigh somehow finds its way between Aomine’s legs. Naturally, a foul is called; Aomine and Kise exchange glances just short of having sex through eye contact as Kise grins cheekily. Aomine decides this is a good sign for what’s to come after the practice game is over –

“Aomine, Kise,” Nijimura begins.

“30 laps around the grounds after this match is over,” Akashi finishes. 

By the time they’re done with the laps on top of the rest of the day’s training, both are too tired to do anything else besides collapse. “We were doing them a _favor,”_ Kise wails. Aomine kind of wants to wail, too.

 

 

 

3.

So Aomine and Kise decide that if they want to get any on this training camp, they are going to have to come up with a plan. They call the plan “How to get Akashi(cchi) and Nijimura(cchi) into each others’ pants,” and it goes something like this: they get Akashi and Nijimura ino a room together, then spend the next hour alternating jobs between pressing an ear up to the door to hear what’s going on inside and shooing away anybody who comes by to potentially interrupt. Akashi and Nijimura, having finally sated their sexual appetites, will become more lax, allowing Aomine and Kise to finally have the training camp make-outs they’ve been gunning for since day one.

The plan is a resounding failure because Akashi and Nijimura spend the whole time talking basketball strategy. (“But in a way that could be interpreted in a Freudian sense, if you know what I mean?” Kise says at one point, when he is still feeling optimistic about how their admittedly questionable plan might go.) Only afterwards do Aomine and Kise realize that they could have used that hour to resolve their own building sexual tension.

“This is the worst fucking training camp ever,” Aomine declares.

“Wrong,” Kise says unhappily. “That implies there’s any fucking going on during this training camp.”

“Fine, then. It’s the worst training camp for fucking ever,” Aomine mutters snappily.

Kise sighs and replies, “Yeah, agreed.”

 

* * *

 

1.

With 36 hours remaining in the annual Teikou summer training camp left, Aomine and Kise mutually give up on the idea of having any trysts with each other and don’t even bother trying on the last night. Instead, Kise pesters Aomine into playing a round of one-on-one, which quickly turns into multiple rounds of one-on-one, and they keep going long after the rest of the gym empties.

“I give, I give,” Kise finally says, leaning forward and pressing his palms to his knees as he catches his breath. “Let’s go back now, I want a shower.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just let me grab my stuff from my locker first,” Aomine replies. He’s rying to not sound as exhausted as he actually is, because he’s got a reputation to keep up and he can’t have Kise thinking that playing him is a _challenge_ or anything.

He _almost_ doesn’t notice the sounds coming from the locker room before he walks in, but he freezes when he hears a tiny, quiet gasp coming from in the back corners that sound suspiciously like a certain captain of his. “Nijimura-san,” he hears Akashi murmur, a little breathlessly. Aomine’s jaw drops as he is filled with a strange cocktail of emotions ranging from ‘this is like listening to my parents fuck’ to ‘it’s about time, good for them’ to ‘I will actually die if they know I’m here’.

Kise trails in a few minutes later, likely confused as to why Aomine’s taking so long, but Aomine clamps his hand over Kise’s mouth just as Kise starts to say something. Aomine attempts to communicate to Kise in gestures with his free hand _Nijimura and Akashi are finally fucking!_ Kise tilts his head, confused, but then there’s the very distinct sound of Nijimura groaning and Kise looks torn between looking horrified and happy.  Aomine decides he really doesn’t want his spare T-shirt after all and they both high-tail it out of there.

“So,” Kise says once they’re back in the gym, a safe distance away. “Do you think this means we can make out without getting interrupted now?”

Both of them are sweaty and gross and physically exhausted. Aomine is so far beyond giving a shit about any of that, because he can’t stand for the existence of a world where a pair that’s as excruciatingly sexually stunted with each other as Akashi and Nijimura are getting some and _he is not_. “Fuck it, I don’t care anymore,” Aomine replies, and leans in towards Kise to right this terrible, horrible wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> For Basketball Poet's Society OTP Battle. Would you believe that I wrote all of these on an airplane at like 3AM? I still can't believe it.


End file.
